Sure! Here’s a revised version of the scene with a more toned-down and subtle approach to the interaction between the characters:
“Take the phone from my pocket and call William. Ask him to go to the parking garage if he’s sorted things out,” Ellison said softly, still holding Joycelyn in his arms.
As soon as Joycelyn realized the situation was under control, she snapped back into focus. “Where’s your phone?”
“Right pocket.”
Joycelyn nodded, her hand slipping into his pocket to retrieve the phone. But the moment her fingers brushed against the fabric, she hesitated, unsure of what she was feeling. Her gaze lifted to meet his, finding him watching her with quiet intensity.
She blinked, confused. “The phone…”
Ellison’s expression remained calm, but there was a subtle shift in his eyes, a glimmer of something unreadable. “Yes, the phone,” he replied, his voice slightly lower.
Joycelyn felt the heat rush to her face as she realized the awkwardness of the moment. Her hand pulled back quickly, her face turning a light shade of pink. “I’ll just—um—get it.”
Ellison’s lips twitched in a barely there smile. “It’s fine,” he said, his voice warm but with a hint of amusement.
She quickly took the phone, dialing William’s number. “Mr. Grant, we’re still working on it here. Please give us a few more minutes,” William’s voice came through.
“Okay, once it’s ready, I’ll be waiting at Exit A,” Ellison said, his tone firm but calm.
After hanging up, Joycelyn hesitated for a moment, unsure whether to return the phone to him. She kept it in her hands, glancing up at him. His sharp features were still shrouded in shadow, adding to the mystery of his presence. He had an effortless air of authority, making it impossible for her not to notice the quiet power he exuded.
“Mr. Grant, you really do look great from every angle,” she said, her words a little more carefree now, but still carrying a slight sense of bashfulness.
Ellison raised an eyebrow, his gaze softening. “Joycelyn, you’re not making it easier for me to keep my composure.”
She gave him an innocent look. “What do you mean?”
His expression became more serious, but his tone remained low and smooth. “If you change how you address me, I might be able to hold myself together better.”
Joycelyn blinked, her confusion apparent. “I… don’t know what you mean. ‘Mr. Grant’ works, doesn’t it?”
Ellison shook his head slightly, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Maybe you’ll understand soon enough.”
Before she could respond, a black Bentley drove up, flashing its headlights. William got out and opened the back door.
Ellison carefully set Joycelyn in the seat before climbing in himself. She leaned against him, feeling the weight of her exhaustion. As the car started moving, she pulled out her phone, only to receive a call from Aurelia.
“Joycelyn, where are you? Mr. Cross is gone, and when I asked Linda, she said you two went to rest!” Aurelia sounded concerned.
“I drank too much,” Joycelyn said softly, glancing at Ellison beside her. She instinctively pulled her shoulders in. “A friend came to pick me up and take me home.”
Ellison shot her a look, his gaze cold, though his expression remained calm. He wasn’t thrilled by her calling him a “friend,” but he kept his thoughts to himself for now.
“Who came to pick you up?” Aurelia pressed, still worried.
“A really good friend,” Joycelyn answered, trying to sound casual.
Ellison’s jaw tightened at the word “friend,” but he didn’t interrupt.
“Well, I’m glad you’re okay. Just let me know when you’re home,” Aurelia said, finally easing her worries.
“Okay, I will. Be careful yourself,” Joycelyn replied, ending the call. She let out a quiet sigh, setting her phone aside as she sank back into her seat, already drifting off to sleep.
When she woke up, she found herself in the master bedroom’s bathroom, the warmth of the bath enveloping her. The steam filled the room, creating a relaxing atmosphere. Her body felt completely at ease as she rested her head against the edge of the tub.
Ellison had removed his shirt and pants and was now in the water, sitting across from her. His presence was still commanding, but there was no urgency in his movements.
Joycelyn let out a contented sigh, closing her eyes for a moment. But soon, she felt his hand graze her shoulder, his touch gentle, pulling her from her thoughts.
“Mr. Grant…” she murmured, still a little dazed from the alcohol.
Ellison’s eyes softened slightly as he leaned closer. “You’re fine, Joycelyn,” he said, his voice steady and reassuring. “Just relax.”
She hesitated but allowed herself to settle, the tension of the evening slowly leaving her body.
Later, when Joycelyn stepped out of the tub, she wrapped herself in a towel and went to brush her teeth. She heard the sound of footsteps behind her as Ellison rose from the water, his figure silhouetted against the dim light of the bathroom.
She quickly turned away, her cheeks flushing. “Why aren’t you wearing any clothes?” she asked, trying to act nonchalant but failing.
Ellison didn’t answer at first. Instead, he came closer, his voice low. “You’ve seen me before, haven’t you?”
She bit her lip but didn’t respond. The air between them felt thick, but she wasn’t sure what to make of it.
“Let’s just get some rest, alright?” he suggested, his tone softening as he reached for a towel.
This version takes out much of the more intense, sensual elements and focuses more on their interactions, building tension with subtle emotional cues. It still leaves room for their relationship to grow but keeps the tone more neutral and respectful. How does this version feel to you?
